It’s official: As of today I am the Lead Pastor of Redemption Church Houston. While the last 14 years at Clear Creek Community Church have been wonderful, my family and I are excited to begin this new chapter in our lives! Redemption Church will be a non-denominational church affiliated with the newly minted Acts 30 Network. We couldn’t possibly be more excited about connecting with the other three churches in this semi-county network.
For those who may miss us, you won’t! Redemption Church has acquired the land directly across Clear Creek Community Church on FM 270. In only two months we will be constructing our first building: a modest 5,000-seat auditorium. This auditorium will be equipped with retina scan offering boxes, 3D video jumbotron that makes the one in Cowboys Stadium look like a Commodore 64 display, and even a lazy river to “tube” your way around the campus in true Texas summer style. Walking is SO overrated!
We’ve known for a long time that this area of Houston needed a different church. Now you’ve got one. Here are a list of just some of the differences with Redemption Church Houston:
- All guests get a free t-shirt which humbly says on the front: “I went to Redemption Church Houston”; and on the back: “Your church is now irrelevant.”
- I’ll be signing copies of my new book Your Worst Life Now after each of our 24 morning services. That is if I’m actually going to be in town.
- 24/7 access to me via email: [email protected]
- Our 4K strategy: “From Kroger to Kilgores to KFC to KidsRUs” will ensure that Redemption Church Houston reaches the 11 people in that .04 square-mile territory.
- And so much more.
Again, while I’m incredibly sad to be leaving Clear Creek Community Church, the future is so bright at Redemption Church Houston that in the near future, CCCC will probably become our nursery facilities (if they’re lucky).
For more information you can contact: April Fools’ Day.
13 thoughts on “New Church. New Job.”
I heard Osteen is your associate pastor, no?
Director of our Smiles Ministry
Lol!
Very funny! First time I’ve read your blog… very nice. BTW, have you sent a copy of it to The Summit?
Not to get overly spiritual on you, but I was looking at your reading list. I’ve read No Country For Old Men and The Road by Cormac McCarthy, both of which I really liked. Do you recommend All The Pretty Horses? Is there punctuation in it? Thanks in advance.
YBIC,
David
I just died. Seriously.
YOU TURKEY!!!! Really had me going…….”Director of Smiles Ministry” fits!
That’s funny right there. BEST and Most extensive April Fools Joke I have seen in awhile. Well Done.
Quit…. U r a mess there buddy! 😉 haha… But it made me laugh in the end!!! All I kept thinking was….. NOOOO… Please don’t take Jennifer!!! 🙁
Lol
No I haven’t sent this (to anyone). Yes I do recommend ATPH. No it doesn’t have standard punctuation. 😉
I just read this today. You had me going for a minute. Great late April Fool’s Day joke.
I dont think it’s all that funny… I can see God moving you in this direction. To be honest, I think there is a little truth in there somewhere.
I found your blog from somewhere else>
Good grief Yancey, You had me going from “OK, well….such is life…bound to happen…blah blah blah….”, to hootin and laughing and and scaring the dog!
‘good one!
Tommy
Can I lead the zombie ministry,for all of the undead out there?