holding in his hand a list of how many of Willow’s 7,000 members actually voted for him.
BREAKING-BREAKING NEWS: World renown author and pastor Bill Hybels has added Gucci Little Piggy as the new Teaching Pastor at Willow Creek Community Church. In a move reminiscent of a university after its football season has just finished, GLP was immediately added to the staff within 24 hours of the departure of former teaching pastors Gene Appel and Randy Frazee. Rumors swirled that GLP was at the top of Hybels list for quite some time, even before teaching pastor Mike Breaux departed. An inside source spoke on the condition of anonymity said Hybels had his sights set on GLP ever since reading his blog in 2006. “Bill would wake up everyday, run to the church well before daylight, fire up the computer in his office waiting in gleeful anticipation for the next bit of wisdom Gucci Little Piggy would post,” confirmed the insider. A major press conference is scheduled for tomorrow at 10AM where Hybels is expected to introduce GLP as Willow’s new teaching pastor and perform the traditional giving of the jersey with subsequent photo op. Hybels is also expected to reveal the new teaching schedule showing GLP to have all the midweek and weekend services while Hybels will devote his time to winning the America’s Cup. Stay tuned for new developments.